The Sanctified Shade: Why Some Mean Girls Wear Church Hats

I have a question for the grown women in the room, and I need you to be honest with yourself: How many times have you been asked, "Where did you find that dress... with the pockets?!" or "What workout is giving you those Kelly Rowland body results?" and suddenly, your memory goes completely blank? You become avoidant, look away, and mutter, "Oh, I can't remember," or "It's just something I saw on TikTok."

We all know that shade. It’s the petty, low-grade gatekeeping that says, “I’ve earned this discovery, and if you get your hands on it, you might show up more beautiful or better than me.”  We do it with retail links, contacts, opportunities, and even friends. It's the mean girl energy I speak of often, but today, I want to address a more serious and detrimental form of M.G.E.

After experiencing "mean girl energy" in church recently, the gatekeeping, the standoffish energy, I had an unexpected and deeply convicting revelation: The same insecurity that makes us hoard a dress link is the same spirit that makes us hoard the Gospel.

That simple carnal act of gatekeeping spills over, metastasizing into the spiritual realm.

Subconsciously, we withhold the good news, the testimony of God's salvation and blessing, from others. Why? Because we harbor a deeply insecure fear that if they really know God, He might bless them bigger or better than He blessed us. Many of us like to pretend that we got more “God” than others or that the free salvation we received is priced differently for them (insert eye brow raise).

We hoard our testimony like it’s a finite resource, afraid that sharing our source of peace will diminish our own supply. We treat the abundant grace of God like a limited-edition sneaker drop, believing there won't be enough left for us if someone else gets a pair. We act like the Kingdom of Heaven is a zero-sum game, instead of recognizing that God’s love is the ultimate, endless resource.

This is where our human logic completely contradicts the divine law of God’s dominion.

The truth is, God's love, provision, and favor are not tied to our behavior or our approval. The Bible clearly states that God "causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous" (Matthew 5:45). His laws of dominion reaches those who know Him and those who don't, yet. Our withholding doesn't shield the 'competition' from God's reach; it only harms us.

When you hoard friends, your children, or opportunities, you are holding onto your insecurities even tighter and your selfishness even more. Your unwillingness to share sends a loud message: you believe what you currently have is the best you'll ever get, and if others get it too, you won’t get anything else or anything better. This fear tells God, "I don't actually trust you to replenish my supply."

Gems, your withholding is a mean-spirited, fear-based spiritual transaction. But here is the freedom in the truth: You cannot share your way out of God’s blessing.

• God is Infinite: His supply of grace, favor, and ideas is endless. You cannot deplete it.

• Generosity is Growth: The moment you generously share the "link" to your success, whether it's the Gospel, a connection, or a business secret, you immediately signal that you operate from a space of abundance, not lack. This prepares you to receive the next level of blessing.

  
  

Let’s dismantle the mean girl energy one shared resource at a time. Be the woman who shares the link, tells the secret, and gives the full testimony, knowing that what God has prepared for you is uniquely yours, and no one else can take it.

Continue to write your story, one healing page at a time... QP