The Love Frequency: When the "Bag" Finally Met the Blessing

For years, I was the poster child for "The Grind." I was chasing clout, building platforms, securing bags, and stacking accolades like they were going to keep me warm at night.

If you listened to my podcast or followed my socials back then, you might have heard the wisdom, but if you listened closely, you heard the undertone.

There was a frequency of bitterness. A vibration of "jaded."

I had been through enough false starts and failed relationships that I decided to redirect all that energy into my business. I convinced myself, and tried to convince you, that success was the goal and love was just an optional accessory. I was operating on a frequency of "self-sufficiency," which is really just a sophisticated word for "self-protection." I thought my degrees and my followers were enough to comfort me. Looking back, it wasn't just a facade; it was a delusion.

Healing changes your hearing. As I did the internal work, the noise of the "hustle" started to fade, and I began to hear the silence in my own house. I realized that I had spent twenty years becoming a "Career Matchmaker" while leaving my own heart’s position vacant.

I had to stop lying to myself.

The "bag" is great, but it’s a bonus. The degrees are honorable, but they are just ink on paper. The real foundation, the actual driver of a life well-lived, is love.

I finally shifted my frequency from building to being. I stopped chasing the things that look good on a resume and started prioritizing the things that feel good to the soul.

I finally understand why the Word puts such a heavy emphasis on love. It isn’t just a "vibe"; it is the foundation of our existence.

• 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 tells us plainly: "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." I realized I had been a "resounding gong" for years, loud, successful, and hollow.

• Proverbs 18:22 and the stories of covenant show us that partnership isn't a distraction from your purpose; it is often the fuel for it.

Now that I have my partner, someone to confide in, someone who sees me (the real Tima, not the "brand"), and someone to lift my head when it’s heavy, I realize that love isn't the "extra." Love is the main event. Everything else? That’s just the confetti.

If you are currently "bag chasing" to avoid "heart healing," let’s adjust your frequency:

• Audit Your Undertone: Are you speaking from a place of power, or a place of "protected bitterness"? Healing requires you to stop being "jaded" so you can be "joined."

• Accolades Don't Have Arms: You can’t cuddle a Master’s degree. Don’t let your professional success become a substitute for personal intimacy.

• The "Bonus" Mentality: When you find your person, you realize that your career success is just a reward, but your partnership is the rewarder. Partnership makes the wins sweeter and the losses manageable.

• Vulnerability is the New Currency: Stop pretending you don't need anyone. The strongest thing you can do is admit that you desire to be seen, heard, and celebrated by a partner.

  
  

I’m no longer clout chasing; I’m cultivating the covenant. I’ve traded the clanging cymbal of "hustle culture" for the sweet melody of a healthy, grounded, and intentional love.

If you’re still in that jaded frequency, I want to encourage you: the work is worth it. The healing is required. Don't let your success talk you out of your story. You deserve a love that makes all the other extras pale in comparison.

Continue to write your story, one healing page at a time... QP